INDIA - Soul Curry

A lot has been said about the beauty of a ' five sensorial ' experience and continues to be said. It is meant to be an experience that uplifts, exhilarates and awakens the soul. For me this experience happened to be India. After a brief stint abroad, the return to base and basics turned out to be the multi sensorial experience, the memory of which had briefly been relegated to the back recesses of my mind. But India changed all that!

The Indian experience is never gentle, nor a step- by- step process.....Its a complete, no holds barred, sudden, onslaught on the senses...and it hits the senses everytime, one can never be prepared enough. The first step beyond the insulated airport lobby says it all. Its difficult to remember now what hits first, is it the smells or the sounds or the feel or is it a total package??? Whatever be the case, its an experience that leaves an undeniable impression. No one ever forgets it.

India has a distinct smell. In the monsoons it is the smell of earth, so unique to countries where cement and concrete have yet not taken over the soil, and where the soil still evokes sentiments in people. In other seasons, its a mix of deisel, petrol, tobacco while one is on the move, and of lovely spicy food in the residential areas, the spicy onslaught proudly announced at regular intervals by the whistles of the cooker. The all important cooker must have a proud mention here for no Indian kitchen can be complete without a cooker. I remember a french friend of mine getting alarmed when she heard my cooker whistle. The french cookers do not whistle, like all things french they are too subtle for that. But thats for the french, there is nothing subtle about India, including our cooking. 

The sounds cannot be far behind in the impact that they have on a unsuspecting visitor. Its a multilayered phenomenon. While on one hand there are sounds close at hand unique to your immediate surroundings like the taxi driver or the attendant or your neighbour or the vehicle, on the other, there are sounds that are omnipresent, wherever one may be. Sounding quite like the buzz of honeybees, this background score never leaves the scene, indoors or outdoors. The chirping of the birds, the motor of the overhead fan , the buzzz of the A.C. , tinkle of the temple bells mixed with the call of namaz, the call of vendor outside, the laughter of the children , or the title track of the telly-soaps from the neigbours house, if not your own...in India one is never alone. Take a minute off and tune your ears to listen to all the sounds that you can hear right now and you'll get the picture.

One can go on and on....the sights, the feel....its all so unique to India. And yet after the initial onslaught is over, one's system absorbs it all. India they say grows on you.It lets you be. It allows you to choose from its myriad tastes and sounds and feel. With its multicultural diversity, geographical expanse and practical fusion of cultures, it offers a wide palate to choose from with the promise that once you befriend it you will never feel alone or bored. And in case you choose not to befriend it, never mind, you will nevertheless be welcome for another visit in case you get tempted again to try, for you may hate India  but you can never ever forget India. 

The forgiveness syndrome- boon or bane?

I recently came across something that I had penned in 2007. I smiled as I read it for I remembered clearly my indignation when it had occurred. The years in-between might have dulled the indignation but not the relevance of the same. Corruption continues to be the bane of our society. Grossly unacceptable, but simply by the virtue of being rampant has unfortunately been pushed to the back of our social consciousness.

 “Make sure you have your seat belt on”, said my husband, just wanting to make sure that we do not flout any rules as we entered Nashik. As a traffic policeman hailed us moments later, I double checked my seat belt. A smile greeted us, we smiled back.

“Going to Shirdi?, he asked. We nodded.

“Jai Sai Baba”,he said.

“Jai Sai”, we echoed back. A well mannered traffic policeman. We were impressed.

“No child?” The friendly banter continued…

“He’s sleeping on the back seat”… So far so good.

“Carry on, carry on…”, he continued. We turned the ignition key but just as the car came to life, he added,

“….after you’ve given me 1000/-,”. We slumped back. Oh! The same boring predictable climax after all, just when we thought we were party to a rare phenomenon, rare at least in India.

I was determined to protest. After all it was not many years back that we had read at school and college that putting up with nonsense was equivalent to creating it.

“What for,”I protested. He turned, and smiled tolerantly as if addressing a retarded child.

“ If I begin to search for reasons, there will be no end to it”, he said and smiled again.

The smile was, by the way, a constant. It reminded me of Nana Patekar in the film “Parinda”. I would have been amused by my creative imagination had I not been sitting in the victim seat. We had by now caught the interest of the other traffic men with him, there was a full team you see, enough to handle( fleece?) the weekend traffic to Shirdi.

“Ok, I will make it easier for you.. I will give you a discount,” he said. Ok! This seemed negotiable! ... “I don’t want a discount, I want a waiver,” I said trying to draw upon my negotiation skills . The smile wavered but eventually held. He seemed to be a smile veteran.

Endless moments later we were on our way to Nashik. Instead of feeling exulted, we were feeling weighed down. This was not right. Agreed it was not a catastrophe, in fact it was something so commonplace that it did not even need the dark of the night or a remote, “no- where- else to go” backdrop to happen. So commonplace that people reading it would wonder why make such a issue out of it , it has happened to all of us…. AND THAT IS EXACTLY MY POINT. Something is surely wrong with the world’s largest democracy that breaking of law by people -of- law themselves is so generously acceptable. Surely the “large hearted Indian forgiveness” syndrome has taken on disturbing connotations. Surely the flouting of norms by Indian law providers ought to be in notice of our government which claims to be in the know of master mind secrets of neighbouring countries. Surely something as rampant as above has come to their notice. Then why is nothing done about it. It can only mean two things,

ONE, the government agrees that our law providers are underpaid and hence they have a right to make their own money provided they do it on the sly or that they somehow( read anyhow)ensure that nobody makes a issue out of it. Reminds me of the fable of the pigeon closin, its eyes on seeing the cat, pretending the cat does not exist.

TWO, the common man doesn’t matter. Sadly, I believe it’s more of the latter.

Interestingly, I find that I do not bear a grudge against the policeman. I don’t remember his face even. However I do remember that smile. At least he bothered to smile.

Written in July 2007

Why do we miss youth?

Nearly everyone who has moved past a certain age milestone in life misses his/her youth...What is it that we miss??...As I heard some old numbers the other day I realised what I miss most from that time. It is not the vitality or health of that phase(when no amount of sunburn can stop you from going out), it is not the college life or the people(thankfully Iam still in contact with most who mattered) nor is it the ''bindaas''(for the want of a better word) attitude of that time......What is it then??

It is the dreams that I miss the most. It is that phase of life when life has just started and the journey seems to hold endless promises, when dreams have no restrictions, flights of fancy seem to be possible in any direction of our choice, and when even uncertainities of life seem oh! so exciting!! and most importantly a time when hopes and positive outcomes have not been replaced by cynicism and criticsm. Childhood is perhaps even more beautiful but most of us do not clearly remember it but youth is a different ballgame altogether. You cherish it, you live it, and you never forget it.

As one moves on in life, milestones are achieved, success is relished, failures are learnt from and accolades are gathered.Uncertainities no longer seem to hold adventure and ones starts moving towards guarantees of material success..house, income etc.etc. Success becomes tangible but does tangible materialism ever have the taste of dreams?? I know what most would say ''What a foolish way of looking at life? Shouldn't one reach out towards one's goals?'' Of course one should...Even I have, with no regrets and yet ironically, that's precisely why youth never comes back. If you hold on to it you stagnate and if you move on the natural progress trajectory you do what Iam doing... remember it fondly. I guess, that's life or as the french say '' C'est la vie''.

What is dignity of labour?

An excerpt from New York Times about Taj hotel in India read thus:

''In every men’s washroom at the Taj is a helper. As you approach the sink, he salutes you. Before you can turn on the tap, he does it for you. Before you can apply soap, he presses the dispenser. Before you can get a towel, he dangles one. As you leave, he salutes you again and mutters: “Right, sir. O.K., sir. Thank you, sir.”
Step outside, and you see sedans reeking of new affluence.India may be changing at a disorienting pace, but one thing remains stubbornly the same: a tendency to treat the hired help like chattel, to behave as though some humans were born to serve and others to be served.''…..and so continued the rest of the artile ....

As I read the abovementioned article published in The New York Times, Asia Pacific section, titled, Exploring India’s Prosperity Through the Eyes of the Invisible Men, my mind registered instant protest. It was not easy to immediately find the right words to describe it, for these are complex issues but something was not right somewhere, and I sought to bring it to light as cohesively as I possibly can to myself and now perhaps to whoever reads this.

Among my first reactions was incredulity, such a half baked portrayal of things. The second was amusement, it is so typically one of those articles which are so fashionably pro- poor nowadays, and which exploit words like inequality and disparity to their gain. Exploitation abounds in various forms and for various reasons. It needs to be condemned whatever be the reason for its existence, whether it be physical comforts, financial gains or as in this case, literary gains. ‘Oh, typically an article for the western world. It is what they want to believe of us’ people in India would say on reading the article under question.

The article largely came across as something written about India as it appears to the West , but appearances need to be delved into so as to unearth the real understanding. No doubt it was an article written for the west in a western paper but surely even the West likes to have the complete picture, complete with the context and reasons?

I write not because I completely disagree with the above mentioned excerpt but because its only part of the picture. One, the understanding of the situation is very cursory and shallow, and second, the facts far too generalized to be applicable to a vast population as in India. Besides, no written piece about a nation or a society is complete without a context. In an absence of the context, even the right figures, the right data may also generate the wrong picture as is so in the case of the piece that I seek to comment upon. I do not question the fact that there are insensitive people who deliberately erode the dignity of lesser priviledged people in India but unfortunately, sometimes even the more sensitive ones (like this article), in their march towards equality and sensitivity , end up trampling on peoples dignity without realizing it. The article and its beginning is a case in point….but first the background…

India....

India contrary to the west is an economy rich in its human resources. WITH ITS POPULATION TOUCHING A billion mark India has to take a path that is very different from the rest of the world. Its biggest liability its vast population has to be turned into its asset. Its human resources have to be optimally tapped if we were to make a suitable difference to our future , and admittedly handling human resources can be a far daunting task than many. Besides India started out late on its quest of equality and justice, as late as 1947-the year of its independence from a Raj where social disparities were at its peak. Considering that, and its vast population, India seems to be following the natural trajectory, which is ridden by struggle and contradictions but is nevertheless very natural, predictable and progressive. True, social disparities abound in India as they would in any country which has its population touching a billion mark, and true there are bound to be people who exploit the situation but by no stretch of imagination can we generalize the situation to suit ourselves.

With such a high population, India invariably sees a lot of it’s work done by human resources rather than machines and invariably it generates more incidents, and stories-facts and fiction, for machines do not complain, humans do, and rightly so, but only when truth is not compromised.

What is dignity of labour?

There are two things we need to remember

1.No job is bad. Every job deserves dignity and every worker deserves to be treated with respect whatever be the job he is doing
2.The job should not be forced but be based on one, freedom of choice and two, the workers circumstances, namely level of education, job opportunities etc.

The article starts by lamenting the position of the attendant in the bathroom and how Indias’ progress is no progress from his point of view. I am sorry but I do not understand. Dignity of labour is not about what job you do. Rather its about how you get treated by others for doing that job. No job is good or bad, it’s the way we treat the people who are doing those jobs that ends up classifying a good job from a bad job. And that is what dignity of labour is all about. As I read the piece, what seemed wrong to me was the pathetic way in which the attendant was portrayed, as an object of pity by the observer. I found his portrayal by the writer more demeaning than the facts of his job. True, a soap dispenser would any day be preferred over a person putting soap on our hands but then in a country teeming with people and unemployment, every job created is a blessing! WHAT COUNTS IS HOW WE TREAT THE PERSON DOING THAT JOB. And of course, what that job IS, depends on the state of your economy. You cannot create a managers job for an uneducated person, and yet you cannot allow him to perish looking for the ‘respectable(?)’ job…for what is respect and dignity afterall ? Isn't it something which we should give to everyone who is trying to do something…whether it being an officers job or an attendant’s? The problem is not with the attendant or his job, or the hotel who employs him. The problem is with US who do not try and study in the right perspective, the myriad factors coming together in a situation.

This will shock many, but then, reality often does… do you know that the attendant in the men’s toilet in Taj whose plight the author laments, would actually be considered privileged by his peers in India? Why?.. because all he has to do is squeeze soap on a polite man’s hand in an air conditioned clean room, and hopefully be thanked for it too, whereas he could have instead landed up slogging in the harsh sun lifting weights, and earning one tenth of what he does in Taj ….You see, the facts are right, he is indeed squeezing soap, but the context is not …..for he does not consider himself underpriviledged, as the article seems to imply. He knows that what he is getting paid for can very easily be done with a soap dispenser, and is glad that it is not so; for given his background and education levels, he is not likely to get any better employment. We who pity him or mistreat him for being an attendant, degrade his efforts to stand upright.

Neither are we talking of forced labour here nor lack of choice. He like every other person on this planet makes the most optimal choice given his circumstances, and has the right to quit or protest at any point that he deems fit. Unfortunately, the fact that he is born in India makes it a choice between pulling a rickshaw or dispensing soap. In the west it would perhaps be a choice between being an executive or being self employed, but a CHOICE nevertheless. And that is what counts. Any society which grants freedom of choice will surely one day find its equality and rights...just give it time. The attendant, like every other Indian also knows that he belongs to a young country which is struggling itself, and needs him to put in that extra bit, which would see his next generations better off, educated, and in better positions. At that point , I am sure he will not mind being replaced by a dispenser. I once again reiterate that his job as an attendant is not objectionable, it is the attitude of people like us who forget to thank him or treat him like dirt simply because he cannot protest, which is wrong.....

There is no denying that exploitation exists...but contrary to ‘dehumanization ‘ as quoted in the article, India to those who know it well, is a perfect example of human resources working in tandem to their mutual benefit, and I highlight mutual benefit as against ‘exploitation of the poor’. India at present can boast of one of the largest social development network in the world right now. It happens to be a country where corrective measures against social disparities emerge quite spontaneously. In short, India has always had a self correcting mechanism, which when supported by external help like government support or international development agencies, or even responsible media has known to have far reaching impacts. Success stories abound.

Give India Time.......

Social development takes time. Social development takes patience and social development takes understanding. Neither is charity the answer nor is blind support either to the poor or the rich . The requirement of the day is careful understanding of the situation, and provision of intelligent support. The poor is not likely to get rich in a day, and even if he does he would not be able to handle it. Development studies clearly highlight the need for people to get self reliant slowly and surely for the development to be consistent. The need for education cannot be emphasised enough. One has to work towards ones’s upliftment and the results are not obvious immediately. Sometimes they get reflected only by the time the next generation grows up. There are no miracles. Hence, the social disparities in India are not likely to disappear in a day but neither are they all pervasive nor as grotesque as the West is made to believe. All one wishes to see the west do is to study India and its problems in the right context...Indian context...not their western context.

Right to Education

There are many things in the West here that left me really impressed on my arrival here. While wastage of power and water left me appalled, certain practices were very impressive. The easy accessibility to basic necessities of life like water and power for instance. It is so unlike the situation in developing countries where even nature's bounty like water cannot be taken for granted, and is a part of everyday struggle for the majority of people. However, what has impressed me the most is the ''right of people to education''. Everybody has the right to education. We say the same words in India too but they are more like a war cry or a protest slogan....there is desperation inherent in it....but here in France, my current but temperory country of residence, it is a statement of fact as cool and natural as a human's right to breathe, and education is as accessible as the air we breathe in.

Check this out....For every few houses here in France, there is a school in the neighbourhood which cannot deny the children of these houses admission. These are state run schools which do not charge fees and have education levels at par with the best anywhere in the world. The proof of their efficiency is that the majority of french children go to these schools unlike in our country where anybody with any means doesnot want to send their children to government -schools because the standards of education and maintainence are so deplorable. I have no problem with private schools, they are necessary in the current Indian scenario. My problem is with the poor priority that education has in our system and our mindsets....there are enough slogans and claims but most are political....Concrete actions and time are the true tests of priorities, and unfortunately, poor government -school standards reflect the truth which no amount of slogans can hide.

Human mind is curious by nature and once exposed to knowledge attracts more knowledge.....this process is called 'EXPOSURE'...exposure to unlimited possibilities. Children in turn are God- blessed with natural curosity. It is nature's way of telling us that exposure to ''overall- development'' opportunities at that age through an ''overall- development'' based education system can put these children and hence their societes on a path wherein they will never have to look back. India clearly needs a dynamic rehaul of its education policy with primary education recieving special thought and consideration. While literacy is half a battle won, we need to be more ambitious so as to provide our children knowledge and not just rote learning in the name of education.

The world has always been in a turmoil for some reason or other. It has always been a boiling cauldron perpetually on heat. Different situations in different eras have called for different solutions and we need to be flexible to adopt those. In the present world troubled with terrorism, economy failures, poverty etc....I feel our best hope lies with education for children and financial sustainability for adults so that they do not end up pulling their children out of schools. Education in my eyes is like a buffer between man and disturbing influences which threaten to destabilise us again and again... Influences like communal and relegious incitations. Influences like desperations of hunger and poverty which in turn lead to crime. An educated mind exposed to limitless possibilities and alternate avenues, has the power to face these influences.

I do realise that development requires multi- pronged efforts. Not just in the field of education but also health, financial stability, self help initiatives etc....but if I were to lay my bets on one as a guarantee for a bright future...it would be high quality education for one and all...especially children. My personal belief is that education, when given a chance, will be that tortoise from the tortoise and hare race, which can slowly but surely lead us to overcome most of our odds....and it would be a sustained victory.

Love?

Every time I look at Taj Mahal, I am overcome with confusing and overlapping emotions. The predominant one is of course awe and pride but nagging somewhere behind is yet another feeling- something that takes away from the joy. ….It is perhaps the image of Mumtaz Mahal dying in her 14th childbirth at the age of 38 all in the name of love!

Make no mistake, I still believe in Taj as India's pride and an architectural marvel. Neither am I blaming Shahjahan. On the contrary infact. He thought of dedicating something so beautiful in her memory when he could have got away with doing nothing and simply moving on to many more Mumtazes. We cannot judge a man of 17th century with our definitions of 21st century!! That she was his constant companion and pillar of support is well known. There is no denying that he loved her intensely, and confirmed to the rules and definitions of those times when bearing a king's 14th child in rapid succession spoke of their love and commitment to each other, despite harems and two other wives.....pun unintented. Yet I cannot but lament the state of women in those times...at the definition of love that existed (still exists in many rural areas).

Nineteen years of marriage, 14 children, 8 of whom died at birth or young age!!!Anybody familiar with the human body knows that every pregnancy takes its toll on the woman's body. Mumtaz's condition must have started deteriorating early on in her string of pregnancies, and yet she moved on to her fourteenth pregnancy!! What were her compulsions, and more importantly what were Shahjahan's compulsions? Love? Society? Relegion? Sadly, none of these seem to provide the understanding, for nothing is greater than life itself- in this case, life of a dearly loved wife and queen. What then I wonder must have been the fate of the ordinary woman?

Why comment on the past? Aren't we still plagued by the same ailment today. Aren't there still ways, means and methods to subjugate a woman and make her fall in line with the male dominated society. One single peep into the ignored back alleys of rural India would confirm it. The Mumtazes of this world still happily(?) and sometimes helplessly succumb to their fate- not as defined by God but by man or society.

We are no doubt moving forward, times are changing and more importantly mindsets are changing. The definitions of partner, husband, wife, companion are changing- Thank God for that...and yet miles to go before concepts like ''true loving caring and sharing'' get translated into deeds across the board, across the Indian society.

Shahajahan was reportedly inconsolable at the death of his constant companion and love. It was an end of a life of someone kind, beautiful and loving. Today, the Taj Mahal stands as the ultimate monument to intense love, and a homage to her beauty and life. If only she had been given more of a chance at life.......

Idiots?

Once again we witness a phenomenon which is by no account new. Its an age old conflict...not between talents.. but between egos...pure simple egos..which makes idiots:-) out of intelligent people.

The people involved in the spat are all great talents with great egos.Unfortunately ego is known to grow faster than talent and thats when problems such as these emerge.

The creative team of idiots does not want to share credit with Chetan Bhagat beyond what they deem necessary, and Chetan Bhagat who actually gave birth to the concept is not ready to hand over the baby to the legal surrogate adopters....Actually what both are doing is trying to tell the world that one is more talented than the other and hence, do not want to share the credit. I wonder, wouldn't it have been easy on all concerned to give due credit to the original creator as well as screenplay writer. The story is indeed Chetan Bhagat's....however the situations and the creativity are the screenplayer's, equally important ....What's the issue?

Before this controversy broke out, this creative team, in my eyes(its a personal opinion of a fan) was a sensitive one which thought of great phenomenons like Gandhigiri. Today the talent and success perhaps have gone up but perhaps the sensitivity has gone down. Same for Chetan Bhagat. If everybody thought like him then its Thomas Edison alone and no one else who deserves credit for all the subsequent innovations made with light and electricity. Idiotic indeed..pun intented.

The issue is EGOS! We do not want to share, we like to possess each and every word that we write or even think of. It blinds us. Proven over time, sharing credit has always made a person seem big hearted and generous and yet when ego rules, the same sharing appears to us to be taking away our credit!!!...Subsequent actions, when we assume that we are protecting our rights, are actually the ones which actually make small hearted idiots out of us...

As for Amir Khan saying that Chetan Bhagat is trying to take credit away from someone lesser known than him...Strange logic!! Perhaps, then it is time for Amir Khan to stop acting and let other lesser known actors get a chance for limelight..Weird logic, isn't it? The issue here is not how popular one is but rather MERIT!....

A fruit seller needs as much credit for bringing fruit to people as the gardener who planted the seed, both need to give each other due respect.... I wish they would not be so miserly with their appreciation for each other...true respect doesnot cost anything(in most of the cases at least) and goes a long way in ways far more intangible than contracts or awards are tangible!

Rules vs. Humanity

''It was a cold wintery desert night. As we sped in our project jeep towards the village that I intended to work from for the next few days, our only guiding lights were the headlights since the villages in that area were yet not equiped with electricity. Suddenly from the dark emerged a man and hailed the jeep for a ride. As the driver slowed down, my heartbeat accelerated out of fear. Catching my look of incredulity, he smiled his rustic grin, and said what I was never to forget'' ghabraiye nahin, yeh shahr nahin hai (don't worry madam, this is not your city)'' and stopped the vehicle for the new traveller.

This, as I observed over the next few days, was an unspoken rule of the desert where for miles stretched nothing but the endless desert. Where the only landmarks or road signs were cactii or boulders differentiated by their shapes. Where a person would just spot the familiar cactus, get off the vehicle and dissapear into the desert as if by magic. There were no beaten tracks to follow. Here no traveller was ever refused a ride for otherwise he would have to travel for hours on foot to his destination. I often found myself sandwiched between grateful toothless grins, huge moustaches, tinkling bangles and shy glances but the aftertaste was always ''nice''. The human spirit, even without words, touches in a way that nothing else can. I never objected to his stopping the vehicle again, I had understood the unspoken law of the desert''.

This was six to seven years back, submerged in my subconcious as a memory...then why did I suddenly remember it now? An incident lately recalled it.

I was on a vacation to Rome a few days back. The hotel had arranged for a shuttle from the city centre as the hotel was not very well connected by public transport. It was late that day, and it was the last shuttle for the day. All the seats were occupied. No sooner had we started that we saw a guest from the hotel running after the bus. The driver saw him but didnot stop. The breathless boy managed to catch up at a traffic light, and pleaded to be allowed in since he had an early moring flight to catch. The driver did not permit it. 'Rules are rules', he said. 'You are late and also the seats are occupied'. The lights changed and we moved forward. As I turned to see that guy being left behind, standing amidst the moving traffic, I saw his expression..dismay, desperation, and something else...I shudderd to think if I would have been in his place. From where I saw it anybody would have been happy to share a seat with him, he was a guest at the same hotel after all...and yet ''Rules were rules, seats could not be shared''.

Suddenly I remembered my desert experience...no formal ''rules''.. just pure ''humanity''...Two extremes. I wondered if we will ever be able to strike a healthy steady balance between the two?

To be or not to be.....Vegetarian?

Have you ever been questioned on something that you have always taken for granted and found yourelf wondering about the answer or the explanation? Have you been surprised by the fact that the answer doesnot come immediately even though you were so sure that it would? More importantly have you found yourself questioning your own actions after you've been forced to think? It can either be a torture when you fail to find an explanation for something that you've been doing without questioning or an uplifting experience when your introspection end up providing you with a justification to your convictions.

Vegetarianism has always been a way of life for me. India and life in India doesnot question it. The land tolerates vegetarianism with equal ease as it tolerates non vegetarianism. Born and brought up in a veg household, vegetarianism was a way of life, and later when I grew my own wings, it became a conscious choice. The society allowed it to be...no questions asked.

Then life got me to the West...and the defination of food changed. ' Vegetables are a side dish, they cannot possibly consitute the main course?'' asked incredulous voices. ''What about the nutrition part?'' and most disturbingly came the defensive ''Why should one not eat non-veg?'' WHY?? and the desire to explain to my friends as cohesively as possible led me to some introspection myself.....

The most obvious answer is of course ''I do not want to kill to eat'' which despite being the truth left me uncomfortable for it seemed to be insinuating that all those who do eat non veg are cruel, and that is indeed not so. Some of my non veg friends happen to be better people than Iam. Even more so, the next defensive statement invariably is ''even plants have life, quit that too!'' Much as we would hate to admit it, there was reason to the words. So, what were the reasons for my convictions? Why did I still feel reluctant to go the non veg way? I wanted to be able to put them into words.

I realised as I observed other cuisines that there are hardly any vegetarian main dishes. Meat, fish etc then, for the western world, is not non vegetarian, IT IS FOOD!! THE ALL IMPORTANT FOOD! Within cuisines here in the west there is no option to go veg or non-veg.....this option is equivalent to choosing between eating or not eating! Converting to vegetarianism within the western cuisines would be like slow-suicide, and surely no life is to be frittered away thus. No wonder people in the west cannot understand our insistence on vegetarian diet.

I realised that it is perhaps only the Indian cuisine which has delightul vegetarian contents and combinations that allow people to go vegetarian, and yet stay healthy! Our rotis and dals have no western counterparts. Not that lentils and vegetables are not available in the west. However, it is our recipes, the right combinations of spices, and the right food combinations that allow us to manage so beautifully on vegetarian diets all our lives. Centuries of knowledge of ayurved, telling us the right combinations, and health aspects of various plants and spices are firmly ingrained in our cuisines and culture. It is this knowledge that has allowed India to survive without killing to eat. We are but perhaps the only culture which has managed this no mean feat! Hence, if one were to go totally vegetarian one must switch to the Indian or similar diet to be able to continue. However, this option is not viable always for people not used to Indian cuisine. Set- tastes are not easy to change. I remember finding certain varities of cheese (delicacies in the west !) extremely repulsive despite knowing their health value! Similarly, people who are not used to Indian tastes and spices might not like to switch to an Indian diet, even if in-principal they want to go vegetarian.

That gets me to MY reasons for being vegetarian (for finally after all the introspection it was clear in my head)....Iam vegetarian because ''I do not want to kill to feed myself...as long as (and this is important!) there are veg options, which thanks to my Indian kitchen are plenty''. The day I am left without any option but the non-veg option, perhaps I too will eat meat (perhaps!) for there is far too much to do in a lifetime than to starve oneself.

As for the argument that plants also have life....I believe that everytime a chicken shrieks when its neck gets twisted or a fish gasps for breath, it registers somewhere on our subconscious. We however, learn to ignore that plea for life to be able to feed ourselves and satisfy our greedy tastebuds.....well, plants do not cry out for help! Vegetarians hence can at least pacify themselves that their soul does not have to cringe at that cry of help, and then harden up nevertheless, in order to be able to feed themselves.

Slumdog Millionaire...the saga continues...

Should he or should he not? Should Danny Boyle be helping the star children cast of ''Slumdog Millionaires'' or not? What is the responsibility of the producers( raking in profits) to the subject/s who/which has enabled them the access to heights of fame and glory? Well what do YOU think? Does he actually owe them something? Lets start from the beginning.....

Mr. Danny Boyle directs a movies for which he shortlists not professional actors but children from slums...namely the children get an opportunity of a life time. Subsequently he pays them their fees, and releases the movie, which goes on to become a supersuccess. He makes sure that the children get to experience some of the glory and power that comes with success by taking them to the Oscars. A few months later amidst reports of the children being homeless, he comes back to make sure that the children and their families whose houses have been razed to the ground be suitably provided for.... What does he get in return? This…..''The child artists' father walks out in a huff accusing Boyle for not helping them enough'' a magazine reported, which makes one wonder '' HOW MUCH IS ENOUGH, afterall''??

Coming back to the question ''Does he owe them something?'' On technical and legal grounds, he owes them just their predetermined fees( which, of course, should be as per industry standards, and not exploitative). On moral grounds? A lot more. And to be fair to him, I think he is doing that. Its important to note that anything and everything that he is doing for the children now after all the contractual fees has been paid, should ideally be seen as an act of concern and compassion for the children, and should be encouraged for the sheer sake of morality. No legal power in this increasingly materialistic world of ours, bound by contracts and legal formalities can make him pay up beyond the predetermined fees...hence any move that he does now, to help, needs to be recognised and encouraged, and not thrown back on the face as ''not enough''. Compassion and concern have been known to die a sure -shot premature death when they come face to face with greed, which all the spiritual texts of old cry themselves hoarse calling ''an ever- growing out- of -control animal''.

Greed is but a natural fallout of desperation. A desperate man when given a chance clings to it, refusing to relinquish. Sometimes he wants to secure his entire future on the basis of that one opportunity because life had not given him any before....that's understandable. Rubina's(the child actor) father's act of asking for more is thus understandable. Understandable, but not justified....there is a fine line between the two...What might happen in the process, which happens all too often, is that any further similar compassionate moves by others might get discouraged cause nobody wants to borrow unpleasentness simply for wanting to help.

This is where neutral parties, non biased ones, need to come in. Balance, the key word needs to define the measures being taken. Danny Boyle needs to be careful, for success always come with its associated problems. He seems to be facing the full onslaught of basic human frailities here in the form of greed, desperation, even peer pressure(by western film fraternity for not doing enough for the poor) and ever increasing demands from the parents, which Iam afraid might threaten to drown out all remenants of compassion or gratitude that he might be feeling for the children. He I feel is trying to do the needful for whatever reasons, maybe compassion, maybe peer pressure. But what about the recepients, namely the child artists or rather their parents'? Are they doing the needful ?

I wish someone would help the parents of the children see the beauty, of the opportunity that has prsented itself to them, in forms other than materialistic. How many people get such opportunities? The celebration for being the chosen ones needs to be sustained through hard work and gratitude. This can be a stepping stone to better opportunities like good education for the children.Most importantly, this opportunity has given them a chance to dream …...But they need to understand that dreams can be realised only through hard work- sustained continous hard work, and cannot rest on merely one episode of glory- one cannot go on reaping its reward all one's life!

As some wise old man put it ''To give is to be great but to accept gracefully is sometimes greater.''

“Pareeksha”

I remember as a child I used to have nervous pangs before every exam and every major event. I remember crying before every such occurrence and my mother comforting me calmly. On one such teary occasion I remember telling her in between tears, how jealous I was of her comfortable environment and how I would love to be in her place and not face these uncertainities, namely exams!!. She just smiled quietly. I never really understood that smile. Anyway that exam went well and the matter came to a close.

College followed school and life was one big roller coaster ride. A secure home, loving parents, good friends, life was good. Career followed academics and soon walked in the knight in shining armour. Perhaps the first pang of insecurity was felt at “ vidaai”. Parents and the security that they offer had become a part of life, much taken for granted. Saying bye to them was a new and strange feeling that left a lump, but along with it came the adventure of a new life with ones partner and soon the lump was forgotten.

Then came motherhood and life changed completely. Two years passed beautifully. Life was full. Then one day came the suggestion “ its time to send him to the playschool”. I distinctly remember the jolt I felt on hearing it. It was perhaps the first time in the two years of inseparable existence that I realised that the child is an individual in his own right and not just an extension of myself. It was the first of the many times that I would have to separate him from myself in the future, so as to enable him to spread his wings and soar in his own sky… “would he be able to manage on his own? He doesn’t even speak properly, how will tell the teachers if he is thirsty, what if somebody hits him?” I could not be pacified. I was determined to look him all over for any cuts or bruises once he returned from school, I planned to feed him extra, my son would after all be using his energy at school, I decided to speak to the teachers everyday and not allow anybody to scold my child… etc. etc. The plans were never ending.

I don’t think I slept the night before his first day at school. We dropped him at school that first day and I forced myself to smile till the door closed behind me and then I howled. And as the tears free flowed, I suddenly folded my hands and prayed fervently with all my faith and belief. I prayed for all the difficulties, insecurities and hurdles in his path to come in my way and for him to have a smooth way ahead. I prayed to be able to take on all his difficulties. I really prayed that day. And just as I was praying with all my heart came unbidden to my mind a smile from my childhood. A “you’ll know it someday” smile. It was precisely that moment that I understood that smile. It was the smile of a mother whose heart was crying at her child’s misery but who would nevertheless swallow the lump, and smile for the fear of weakening the child otherwise.

The mother in me finally understood. I also understood that motherhood is that one test of life, that one “pareeksha” where however well you perform, that one word of real appreciation might take years in coming.... perhaps when your little kids get little kids of their own and realise your sacrifice but by which time you yourself are in the twilight of life.

My son came back from school very happy. He had discovered new friends, new toys, new life, and his mother had rediscovered her own mother all over again. Love you Ma and thank you.

PS: Today my mother lies bedridden with a broken hip and me sitting miles away has been forbidden by her to come to her aid for I will have to leave my little child behind. The mother in her continues to be first a mother, and then a patient, and I realise once again that one's debt to one's mother can never really be cleared.... It is perhaps one of the few debts that we should be grateful to God for and should bask in its glory for as long as we can. If there is anything called a soul...then today I thank my mother from the deepest core of my soul and pray for her quick recovery and health.

Celebrity Adoptions

As I hear about celebrity adoptions, namely celebrities wanting to adopt children from developing countries one after the other, I wonder what their purpose is after all? Is it genuine love or is it merely wanting to make a statement? Is it genuine desire to have that child call you Ma and Pa or is it something else? Even if it is a genuine desire to have a large family, are all desires justified in themselves irrespective of the context they are in?

Anybody who has even one child knows what it entails to be able to give that child a right balance of time, freedom education etc...and for both the parents to have a career as well, can be a real test at times....Gone are the days of huge broods, for extended families no longer exist, and if nannies could do all that parents are required to do then the very institution of family is doomed even before it has started emerging again.....

…...........and most importantly where do the adopted children stand in all this? Is adoption by a celebrity a guarantee of a non complexed childhood, is luxury the only prerequisite to growing up to be a sound adult? Obviously not, for otherwise we would not be having so many spoilt brats lacking love in the lap of luxury. If as a parent there is one reality that I acknowledge with all my heart, it is that the most important prerequisite to being a good parent is to give your child your time, in a fine balance of quality and quantity, the other prerequisites come later...

Adoption is no doubt a good deed. But dear friends, a good deed for wrong reasons doesn't remain a good deed anymore, it becomes a confused deed. Couples before adopting a child need to have their priorities straight, for nobody has the right to play with a young life. There can be any number of outlets for high ambitions, a number of outlets for excess money, number of outlets for wanting to do good deeds ( donations to orphanages or sponsoring children for example) but there can be no excuse for adopting a child for any reason except total sincerity, time and love. Adoption, just like giving birth is a huge responsibility, consequences of which go far beyond the tangible. It is a 'karma' which when goes wrong can lead to horibly twisted destinies and lives, but to a better world, if it goes right.

My advice to people wanting to adopt (celebrities especially for rules especially get broken when they are involved) '' Do not make a joke of adoption or parenthood...its a crime far worse than we can imagine. Understanding the concept of family goes far beyond the size of family. Give a child your name or get her into this world only when, if need be, you are ready to give up everything for that little one....and if thats too high a price to pay.... be sensible! and lead your life sensibly with whatever you have. Do not add to, what you cannot do justice to''.

The Perfect Solution!!

When God blessed us with brains, he perhaps wanted a good laugh, for laugh he must when we, in full utilisation of our brainy assests, choose to make difficult even the most simple of things. Now look at the recent 'furore' over Mahatma Gandhi's possesions being auctioned. A multidollar question ''would the Mahatma have approved of the expenditure on his possesions?'' but of course not, he wouldn't have. He believed in ideals not possesions but then dear friends, there is a difference between a great man placing himself on a pedestal and we, his followers doing the same. While the former would be vanity the latter is inspiration.

Also it is important to remember that striking a balance between what we think is right, and what the world thinks is right is of upmost importance. We live in a society, in a world, and cannot ignore its expectations from us. To let go of the mahama's possesions would perhaps be right ideologically but is it not completely opposed to what is expected of us by this world which is, as it is, viewing India's rise with sceptisicm. Are we once again ready to let go of our heritage simpy because we are too confused with ideologies, only to start claiming that heritage back once the West starts patenting it as theirs? The money for the possesions did not go from funds allocated for some development initiative. They were a gift to the nation from somebody who could afford that gift. A better gift than being spent by politicians on their birthdays!!

I viewed the results of the auction with a deep sense of satisfaction. We did strike a balance after all. Balance between world expectations of us as a nation and righteousness. We were capable enough as a rising nation to claim something that was special to us. That one is for the World, 'duniyadaari' as we might say in India. To give it back to the nation without asking a price for it, thats for righteousness. Mahatma, I think would have approved after all.

slumdog or hotdog?

Slumdog or Hotdog?

When the Slumdog ( my friend's 9 year old daughter chooses to call it hot dog...its hot news, afterall!!) controversy broke out with stalwarts writing about it, me, the ordinary Indian decided to pitch in too....perhaps someone somewhere is interested in the common man's views......

Lets start from the beginning, from the first reaction to the subsequent ones. To be very frank, my first reaction to comments on the film being a peddlar of ' glorification of poverty' was incredulity. Its just a film after all, its bound to be inspired by something or the other, in this case something being 'Slums of India and a novel set in the same', but subsequently over a period of time, I too could not help but be aggrieved by what I saw my friends from west conjuring about India through their impressions from the film. It hurt, for anybody who knows India knows that though slums are a reality, they are not the only reality. However the film is not just for people who already know India, its also for people who are getting to know India only through films like this or books like 'The White Tiger'. Their pathetic impressions of India hurt alright. There is a lot more to India and being Indian, I wanted to say but who cares to listen to me? Iam not an oscar winner after all !

So, well, am I to be blamed for being a split personality, of not being able to acknowledge the truth of poverty etc.etc in my land? The thought bothered me a lot, and I sat down to fathom it all out, in my mind of course...the safest place of all nowadays...

Poverty and its depiction are nothing new. International humanitarian organisations like UN etc. too talk of Indian poverty all the time, they showcase it all the time and nobody minds, why? The answer gets me to the core of the problem, at least in my eyes. The purpose of an act defines the merits or the demerits of that act, to a large extent. Nobody minds a UN depiction of poverty because its all for a good cause....... but when depiction of somebody else's poverty is for reasons other than humanitarian, the responses can be quite different depending upon the context.

' All in the name of creative freedom' too is also perfectly justifiable, and that, incidently may be all that Danny Boyle was doing when he set out to make the film- a good subject, good treatment and thus an extremely enjoyable film. Period. However, it didn't stop at that did it? When the same film starts being touted as a mirror of Indian society by the ignorant West or vested Indian interests, its time to speak up. There is a fine line between exploration and exploitation of sensitive issues like poverty, handicaps, cultural differences etc. and this line is often crossed by one and many in the name of politics, humor or even creative liberties. A bit more of sensitivity may go a long way in restoring dignities which sometimes get trampled upon during people's personal quests.

Also as I read blogs and comments in Indian media lameting the poor portrayal of India, I wondered where has our good old Indian tolerance gone? They said ''People living in ivory towers do not have a right to talk about poverty...'' Why may I ask? If people in ivory towers cannot critique or talk about issues regarding slums, then by that standard all our ministers, scribes and do-gooders who wish to talk about similar issues, should be living in slums, right? But they don't do they? People who have done well for themselves through hard work need to be appreciated and applauded for their efforts, not barred from commenting on issues which plague their society simply because they have managed to rise above it. India needs to remember and renew its heritage of tolerance, I feel.

Let us leave 'Slumdog millionaire' to be what it set out to be...an interesting film which deserves all the artistic accolades that it has received. Neither is it a mirror to Indian society nor a matter of national shame..sil vous plait.